I guess at this point the "How's" and the "Why's" don't really matter....what matters is what happens next.
When I first started getting frustrated with T I finally typed in some search terms on what problems she was having and the word dyslexia popped up.
I checked out 5 different books from the library including The Gift of Dyslexia by Ronald Davis. It was a really good book that clued me in on many of the processing disorders such as dysgraphia, dyscalculia, etc.
It also game some exercises and different helps for Dyslexia. The book was a double edged sword of sorts because while it gave me information, after reading I realized I didn't have enough knowledge of dyslexia and was really unsure of what methods and tools were used to treat it. I had taught for 10 years and had a master's degree but this area of processing disorders was foreign to me.
I needed help.
I googled "Help with Dyslexia in {my state}."
The first item that popped up was a website for LS Center. One the site they offere FREE evaluations so I called and made an appointment.
I could feel a little hope creeping in. We were taking the next step.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
How Did I Miss This?
Things had always been a little hard for K. She did okay in
preschool but not as well as I would like her to...especially
considering I was her teacher. Kindergarten came and she did well. He
teacher made a little book of all the things the kids needed to learn in
first grade. You kept the book at home and worked with your child and
each time you passed off a skill you initialed the page and sent it in.
I would talk to my friends who had daughters in the same class to gage where there kids were at academically and it seemed to me that K was doing fine. I volunteered in the class so I could see who was doing what and I knew that K was not one of the TOP students but she seemed to be running with the middle or high middle of the pack so to speak.
First grade came...along with sight words and actual book reading. K struggled a little bit but I chalked it up to being one of the youngest in her class (Her birthday is August and the cut off is September). We worked really hard on our sight words and read at least 5 times a week for 15 minutes. By the end of the year her reading seemed to have greatly improved and she was on grade level. They did a little addition but it was near the end of the year so when she struggled a little I didn't really worry.
Second grade came. K's first grade teacher although great academically wasn't really...what's the word?...she really didn't become attached to the students...never really offering affection, attention, or compliments...a little cold. So really what I wanted for 2nd grade was a teacher who just loved Kylie...who made her feel special. Well we got her. I knew that we had the right teacher when Mrs. C asked the parents at back to school night if it was okay if she hugged our kids. "YES!" I wanted to shout!
K struggled with addition and subtraction. They had to complete those time tests where you do all 5 rows of the 2+ in a minute and then the 3+ in a minute and so on and so on. K never got past the 3+ and the 3-. When I tested her she seemed to get the concept so I thought maybe it was just the pressure of doing it in a certain time. We continued to read...working on speed and fluency. Our parent teacher conference with Mrs. C was always enjoyable. She pointed out areas for improvement in math but always smiled and offered words of encouragement...saying that she loved how hard K worked and how she would ask questions when she didn't understand something.
K's confidence blossomed but her math skills continued to tank. I thought "that's fine, not everyone is good at math." I was fooling myself. They started spelling tests in 2nd grade. Mrs. C used a program I learned about in one of my Master's classes (that I love) called WORDS THEIR WAY. K did well with this program, but at the second PTC I noticed that she did great (80%-90%) when on the weeks I really helped her every day but if there was a week when I was a little busier she did horrible (like 30%)
Our summer was busy. We moved into a new house in May and I had our fourth child B at the end of June. Our new house had an unfinished basement but it wasn't possbile to finish a preschool room in the short amount of time so I would now have to commute to our old house to teach preschool three days a week.
Kylie's first assignment in 3rd grade was writing in her journal..every night. As I sat with her I became VERY frustrated that her tall letters weren't tall and her small letters weren't small. She also was still mixing up her /d/ and /b/'s. I had noticed this in first grade but it was still not a big deal because she was only 6. I showed her how to make a bed with her thumbs to know the difference in 2nd grade...and now I was finally thinking you're 8 you should know the difference between the two.
Her letter and word spacing was crazy...everything smashed together so when she made a mistake there wasn't enough room to erase and correct. I finally told her not to write anything without me sitting right next to her. One day I got so frustrated that I yelled at her. I'm ashamed to say I screamed "SPACE, SPACE, SPACE..JUST LEAVE SPACE!!!"
I also noticed that even when I spelled the word to her she would still mix up the letters.
Her reading was not doing well either. She was starting to get her rhythm down but she would read big words and the omit words like 'the,and, of.' I would tell her, "read every word!" I woudl stress because as ateacher I knew when they test to see if she was on grade level the use her WPM (Words Per Minute) minus errors...and if you omit words it counts as an error. She would also read for for from and other words that looked alike.
She brought home math homework...really an assignment she hadn't finished in class. Another organization and spacing catastrophe. You couldn't tell the problem number from the answer and again everything was CRAMMED together. There was not enough space to correct the ones she had done wrong. I remember just throwing the entire thing away and starting over showing her how to circle the problem number and only put one problem on a line..skipping lines in between.
I was at my boiling point and there were tears from her and angry words from me at almost every homework assignment.
I am not proud to admit it but I yelled and got frustrated.
I made her cry.
Horrible, I know.
And did I mention I am prechool teacher with a Master Degree in Elementary Education.
How could I have failed to see that my child had struggles...real struggles?
I wanted to believe that because she was the youngest in her class she needed just a little more time to understand and master things. I thought Well not everyone is great at math...as long as she understands it she doesn't have to be fast.
And if I'm being truly honest...I got busy, I got lazy, and every other reason that I have for why I don't parent better.
I would talk to my friends who had daughters in the same class to gage where there kids were at academically and it seemed to me that K was doing fine. I volunteered in the class so I could see who was doing what and I knew that K was not one of the TOP students but she seemed to be running with the middle or high middle of the pack so to speak.
First grade came...along with sight words and actual book reading. K struggled a little bit but I chalked it up to being one of the youngest in her class (Her birthday is August and the cut off is September). We worked really hard on our sight words and read at least 5 times a week for 15 minutes. By the end of the year her reading seemed to have greatly improved and she was on grade level. They did a little addition but it was near the end of the year so when she struggled a little I didn't really worry.
Second grade came. K's first grade teacher although great academically wasn't really...what's the word?...she really didn't become attached to the students...never really offering affection, attention, or compliments...a little cold. So really what I wanted for 2nd grade was a teacher who just loved Kylie...who made her feel special. Well we got her. I knew that we had the right teacher when Mrs. C asked the parents at back to school night if it was okay if she hugged our kids. "YES!" I wanted to shout!
K struggled with addition and subtraction. They had to complete those time tests where you do all 5 rows of the 2+ in a minute and then the 3+ in a minute and so on and so on. K never got past the 3+ and the 3-. When I tested her she seemed to get the concept so I thought maybe it was just the pressure of doing it in a certain time. We continued to read...working on speed and fluency. Our parent teacher conference with Mrs. C was always enjoyable. She pointed out areas for improvement in math but always smiled and offered words of encouragement...saying that she loved how hard K worked and how she would ask questions when she didn't understand something.
K's confidence blossomed but her math skills continued to tank. I thought "that's fine, not everyone is good at math." I was fooling myself. They started spelling tests in 2nd grade. Mrs. C used a program I learned about in one of my Master's classes (that I love) called WORDS THEIR WAY. K did well with this program, but at the second PTC I noticed that she did great (80%-90%) when on the weeks I really helped her every day but if there was a week when I was a little busier she did horrible (like 30%)
Our summer was busy. We moved into a new house in May and I had our fourth child B at the end of June. Our new house had an unfinished basement but it wasn't possbile to finish a preschool room in the short amount of time so I would now have to commute to our old house to teach preschool three days a week.
Kylie's first assignment in 3rd grade was writing in her journal..every night. As I sat with her I became VERY frustrated that her tall letters weren't tall and her small letters weren't small. She also was still mixing up her /d/ and /b/'s. I had noticed this in first grade but it was still not a big deal because she was only 6. I showed her how to make a bed with her thumbs to know the difference in 2nd grade...and now I was finally thinking you're 8 you should know the difference between the two.
Her letter and word spacing was crazy...everything smashed together so when she made a mistake there wasn't enough room to erase and correct. I finally told her not to write anything without me sitting right next to her. One day I got so frustrated that I yelled at her. I'm ashamed to say I screamed "SPACE, SPACE, SPACE..JUST LEAVE SPACE!!!"
I also noticed that even when I spelled the word to her she would still mix up the letters.
Her reading was not doing well either. She was starting to get her rhythm down but she would read big words and the omit words like 'the,and, of.' I would tell her, "read every word!" I woudl stress because as ateacher I knew when they test to see if she was on grade level the use her WPM (Words Per Minute) minus errors...and if you omit words it counts as an error. She would also read for for from and other words that looked alike.
She brought home math homework...really an assignment she hadn't finished in class. Another organization and spacing catastrophe. You couldn't tell the problem number from the answer and again everything was CRAMMED together. There was not enough space to correct the ones she had done wrong. I remember just throwing the entire thing away and starting over showing her how to circle the problem number and only put one problem on a line..skipping lines in between.
I was at my boiling point and there were tears from her and angry words from me at almost every homework assignment.
I am not proud to admit it but I yelled and got frustrated.
I made her cry.
Horrible, I know.
And did I mention I am prechool teacher with a Master Degree in Elementary Education.
How could I have failed to see that my child had struggles...real struggles?
I wanted to believe that because she was the youngest in her class she needed just a little more time to understand and master things. I thought Well not everyone is great at math...as long as she understands it she doesn't have to be fast.
And if I'm being truly honest...I got busy, I got lazy, and every other reason that I have for why I don't parent better.
Sad
I came home from Parent Teacher Conferences...deflated and sad. I was very happy that T's had went well. She is a little bit head strong so I worried about her behavior but she is doing excellent academically and socially. But as happy as I was for T it made K's conference with her teacher all the more troubling.
T is a wonderful child! She has always been so kind and obedient. She truly cares about people. She goes beyond sympathetic which is just feeling sorry or sad for someone, but she is empathetic...truly feeling their pain and trying her best to help change things. She is happy and funny. I've never seen anyone make friends like she does. It doesn't matter if we are at the pool or the park and if the child is 2 or 12 she can instantly make friends anywhere she goes with anyone.
I don't think K's teacher Mrs. L sees any of that.
I try to put myself in Mrs. L's place. Parent teacher week is stressful and tiring and we were her last appointment of the day. But I keep replaying the conversation in my mind and she didn't say one positive thing about my sweet girl. And I realize that K's struggles are all she sees. And because she struggles Mrs. L is frustrated with her.
I cry as I write this. When I heard Mrs. L talk about how K repeats the instructions instantly I knew she was trying to understand and remember them. She wasn't be rude or smart-alek-y...she was doing her best to comprehend.
T is a wonderful child! She has always been so kind and obedient. She truly cares about people. She goes beyond sympathetic which is just feeling sorry or sad for someone, but she is empathetic...truly feeling their pain and trying her best to help change things. She is happy and funny. I've never seen anyone make friends like she does. It doesn't matter if we are at the pool or the park and if the child is 2 or 12 she can instantly make friends anywhere she goes with anyone.
I don't think K's teacher Mrs. L sees any of that.
I try to put myself in Mrs. L's place. Parent teacher week is stressful and tiring and we were her last appointment of the day. But I keep replaying the conversation in my mind and she didn't say one positive thing about my sweet girl. And I realize that K's struggles are all she sees. And because she struggles Mrs. L is frustrated with her.
I cry as I write this. When I heard Mrs. L talk about how K repeats the instructions instantly I knew she was trying to understand and remember them. She wasn't be rude or smart-alek-y...she was doing her best to comprehend.
I Think There Might Be a Problem
We had our first parent teacher conference of third grade tonight. I also had to meet with T's kindergarten teacher so I purposely chose the last appointments of the night for each with T's first and K's second. I wanted to make sure I had time to talk to K's teacher about some things I had noticed...particularly some indicators of dyslexia I was seeing in K.
Initially I was just going to go by myself...with 4 month old Baby B who has a cold. I have the girls ask their teacher and they say they can stay or come with. T really wants to go, because she knows her teacher will gush all over her...and she doesn't disappoint.
Then it is time with K's teacher. Things do not go well. She shows me Kylies test scores from last year. She has her get her learning binder out of the desk and talks about what a mess it is. She goes through her own list of "important items" scoring Kylie from 1 to 4. Every time I think she is going to say something nice and positive....she doesn't. Then she says, "You know what drives me crazy the most?" Kylie, answers, "talking." I kind of smile thinking she is talking about the whole class and I smile because 3rd graders can be noisy but I am sure that Kylie is not a talker.
I am wrong.
She says, "so you know." And then proceeds to tell me how it drives her "CRAZY" when Kylie repeats the instructions to an assignment after her. She says "It's just like having a little mima bird on my shoulder and you have to stop because it is driving me crazy!!!"
I feel like crying, but I don't.
She has Kylie go get something from her desk and covers the side of her mouth and whispers loudly "I think she may have some real problems!"
I know Kylie can hear so I say, "yes I have noticed Kylie struggles with a few things and I think she may have dyslexia." She nods. Then she proceeds to tell me about an incident that happened that day with Kylie accidentally breaking a crayon that someone lent her.
my daughter is getting more and more embarassed....her teacher finally notices and doesn't finish telling me about the crayon thing.
I am done! I have Kylie get her binder to take it home and we leave....with me feeling very much discouraged...and sad.
Initially I was just going to go by myself...with 4 month old Baby B who has a cold. I have the girls ask their teacher and they say they can stay or come with. T really wants to go, because she knows her teacher will gush all over her...and she doesn't disappoint.
Then it is time with K's teacher. Things do not go well. She shows me Kylies test scores from last year. She has her get her learning binder out of the desk and talks about what a mess it is. She goes through her own list of "important items" scoring Kylie from 1 to 4. Every time I think she is going to say something nice and positive....she doesn't. Then she says, "You know what drives me crazy the most?" Kylie, answers, "talking." I kind of smile thinking she is talking about the whole class and I smile because 3rd graders can be noisy but I am sure that Kylie is not a talker.
I am wrong.
She says, "so you know." And then proceeds to tell me how it drives her "CRAZY" when Kylie repeats the instructions to an assignment after her. She says "It's just like having a little mima bird on my shoulder and you have to stop because it is driving me crazy!!!"
I feel like crying, but I don't.
She has Kylie go get something from her desk and covers the side of her mouth and whispers loudly "I think she may have some real problems!"
I know Kylie can hear so I say, "yes I have noticed Kylie struggles with a few things and I think she may have dyslexia." She nods. Then she proceeds to tell me about an incident that happened that day with Kylie accidentally breaking a crayon that someone lent her.
my daughter is getting more and more embarassed....her teacher finally notices and doesn't finish telling me about the crayon thing.
I am done! I have Kylie get her binder to take it home and we leave....with me feeling very much discouraged...and sad.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)