So as I began my research I again felt overwhelmed. With dyslexia and other processing orders it seems like trying to find the magic key. The specific way to teach math, reading, or spelling in just the right way that will make your child understand.
And there was no time. No time to find that magic key. With a move and a new baby this past summer our life had become crazy. Add commuting to my job that used to be out of my home and my husband and I finishing a portion of our basement ourselves. I was stretched to my limit.
There were simply not enough hours in the day to be everything to everyone.
You know what one of the definitions of Overwhelm is "bury or drown beneath a huge mass."...and I felt that huge mass.
Then I received an e-mail...actually a comment to be exact. An awesome friend of mine found my blog and posted.
She let me know that I was not alone. That her children had the same struggles and she felt the same things I was feeling. She reminded me that my daughter needed mothering from me and nothing else.
She reminded me that K needed love and support but I was released from the
responsibility of teaching her everything.
It was, as she hoped, a "bit of friendly wisdom" that took a little
pressure off of me.
It was exactly needed in that moment on that day.
So I have decided that I will not do it alone. I will defintiely put in my time and help but if I can't do that in a way that my daughter feels my love and support than I will pull back and let the others take the reigns until I am re-charged.
It is amazing what a little understanding and support can do for a mom :)
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Hopeless
I knew we didn't have $7,000 to spend. but I was so desperate for "help" at that moment I honestly would have paid anything for a little hope. I spent many a evening crying to mom on the phone. Every time I thought about K and some of her difficulties I would tear up.
I knew my husband would never go for the price tag but thankfully he never said that. In the beginning he would say, "do whatever you think." The more I talked the more I thought, "I am so unsure of my abilities to help her."
Helping a child with processing difficulties was foreign to me. It wasn't about drilling the facts as much as it was finding just the right process to help her learning.
My mom was always there for me. She listened as I poured out my deepest darkest thoughts. My feelings or inadequacy, anger, overwhelment (is that a word?) and fear for my daughters future. She listened and offered words of support, telling me "that's why Kylie was sent to you."
She gave me hope...that hope turned into courage.
I had checked out a few library books on dyslexia when I first suspected K had some difficulties. I started reading them with a new fervor. I started scouring the internet for information on how to help my sweet girl with her areas of concern.
I was gaining confidence in the fact that I could do this. I would find answers...solutions...best practices and techniques to help my girl.
I knew my husband would never go for the price tag but thankfully he never said that. In the beginning he would say, "do whatever you think." The more I talked the more I thought, "I am so unsure of my abilities to help her."
Helping a child with processing difficulties was foreign to me. It wasn't about drilling the facts as much as it was finding just the right process to help her learning.
My mom was always there for me. She listened as I poured out my deepest darkest thoughts. My feelings or inadequacy, anger, overwhelment (is that a word?) and fear for my daughters future. She listened and offered words of support, telling me "that's why Kylie was sent to you."
She gave me hope...that hope turned into courage.
I had checked out a few library books on dyslexia when I first suspected K had some difficulties. I started reading them with a new fervor. I started scouring the internet for information on how to help my sweet girl with her areas of concern.
I was gaining confidence in the fact that I could do this. I would find answers...solutions...best practices and techniques to help my girl.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Why the Tears?
Why cry? Because I could help my child with her math, spelling, and
reading abilities, but I had NO IDEA how to improve Working Memory or
Auditory Processing. How could I change her Selective Attention?
Dr. W made it very clear that K had some serious problem. And while I take the results of this testing very seriously, looking back I think he used a very "dooms day" type of approach with us.
What was even more disheartening was the "help" LS was offering wasn't an option. Upon learning I had a degree in education Dr. W offered us the LEAST expensive program...one in which K would come for tutoring and labs 2 times and week for 2 hours. I would come with her and then be responsible for tutoring at home 2 hours 3 times a week. In my mind I decide that even if I had to get a babysitter for my other three kids for 31/2 hours (it is a 30 minute commute to LS) I was willing to do that. I knew I could do the tutoring but I was very interested int he Lab time which was supposed to help her memory and attention.
Then we saw the "fee" for 40 session. I hope my face didn't show my shock!
$7,400!
Dr. W offered us financing options and even told up he would decrease the price a couple hundred if we made our decision that week (this was a little "used car salesman-ish" to us).
It felt quite hopeless at that moment.
Dr. W made it very clear that K had some serious problem. And while I take the results of this testing very seriously, looking back I think he used a very "dooms day" type of approach with us.
What was even more disheartening was the "help" LS was offering wasn't an option. Upon learning I had a degree in education Dr. W offered us the LEAST expensive program...one in which K would come for tutoring and labs 2 times and week for 2 hours. I would come with her and then be responsible for tutoring at home 2 hours 3 times a week. In my mind I decide that even if I had to get a babysitter for my other three kids for 31/2 hours (it is a 30 minute commute to LS) I was willing to do that. I knew I could do the tutoring but I was very interested int he Lab time which was supposed to help her memory and attention.
Then we saw the "fee" for 40 session. I hope my face didn't show my shock!
$7,400!
Dr. W offered us financing options and even told up he would decrease the price a couple hundred if we made our decision that week (this was a little "used car salesman-ish" to us).
It felt quite hopeless at that moment.
Results
My husband wanted me to go the results meeting myself...he thought I was the one that suspected Dyslexia and had been reading up on it so I would better understand the results. I agreed with him on that point but at the same time I felt it was such a huge burden load for me to take on myself and I was already starting to get a little emotional.
So he went with me while our crazy kids waited outside. The LS Center and Dr. W had printed out a report of K's cognitive processing skills.
He started by saying, "we have a serious problem folks."
My heart sank.
He showed us her reading scores from the Gray Oral Reading Test. Her reading percentile rank was 75. Not bad. I knew she did okay with her rate because her report card indicated that she was right on grade level for her words per minute read.
Reading Accuracy fell to 50th precentile. This was one of my concerns. She could read large words but omitted or messed up on smaller words like was, their, etc.
Reading fluency was 63rd percentile and reading comprehension was 50th percentile.
Next came the Math results for the Pearson Key Math 3 Test. Numeration-16 th %tile. Algebra-25th %tile. Geometry 9th %tile. Measurement-16th %tile. Addiction & Subtraction-9%tile.
According the Gibson Cognitive Processing Battery she was right on or slightly above her age level in Processing Speed, Working Memory, Visual Processing, and Word Attack.
She was 2-3 years below age leve in Auditory Analysis, Logic & Reasoning, and Selective Attention. She was slightly below age level in Spelling Testing.
Her Working Memory that I mentioned before is a positive and a negative. Her Auditory Memory is not very good but she has outstanding Visual Memory.
It was a little too much to take in. I held it together but cried a little each day for the next couple days.
So he went with me while our crazy kids waited outside. The LS Center and Dr. W had printed out a report of K's cognitive processing skills.
He started by saying, "we have a serious problem folks."
My heart sank.
He showed us her reading scores from the Gray Oral Reading Test. Her reading percentile rank was 75. Not bad. I knew she did okay with her rate because her report card indicated that she was right on grade level for her words per minute read.
Reading Accuracy fell to 50th precentile. This was one of my concerns. She could read large words but omitted or messed up on smaller words like was, their, etc.
Reading fluency was 63rd percentile and reading comprehension was 50th percentile.
Next came the Math results for the Pearson Key Math 3 Test. Numeration-16 th %tile. Algebra-25th %tile. Geometry 9th %tile. Measurement-16th %tile. Addiction & Subtraction-9%tile.
According the Gibson Cognitive Processing Battery she was right on or slightly above her age level in Processing Speed, Working Memory, Visual Processing, and Word Attack.
She was 2-3 years below age leve in Auditory Analysis, Logic & Reasoning, and Selective Attention. She was slightly below age level in Spelling Testing.
Her Working Memory that I mentioned before is a positive and a negative. Her Auditory Memory is not very good but she has outstanding Visual Memory.
It was a little too much to take in. I held it together but cried a little each day for the next couple days.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Assessment
I scheduled a free diagnostic testing sessions with K. I was glad we were able to get her in before Thanksgiving so hopefully we could get some answers and try to meet with her teacher again after the break.
I drove her the 30 minutes to the center and met with the director, Dr. W. He was a nice man, and very friendly to myself and K. He explained that the testing would take an hour and a half and that I would be able to see K through the window in the room.
So I filled out a form rating what things I thought K struggled with and areas of concern.
Some of my concerns included:
Some reading and writing struggles
Falling behind in Math
Homework issues
Slow to catch-on to new concepts and takes too long to complete assignments
Not reaching her potential
I also read a couple of the brochures Dr. W had given me.
K did great and we even smiling when she came out an hour and a half later. Dr. W told K she was really smart and she needed to promise him that she would go to college.
I was happy to have the testing done and to have someone acknowledge what a happy, polite, and smart girl K was.
We set up an appointment for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to go over the results.
I drove her the 30 minutes to the center and met with the director, Dr. W. He was a nice man, and very friendly to myself and K. He explained that the testing would take an hour and a half and that I would be able to see K through the window in the room.
So I filled out a form rating what things I thought K struggled with and areas of concern.
Some of my concerns included:
Some reading and writing struggles
Falling behind in Math
Homework issues
Slow to catch-on to new concepts and takes too long to complete assignments
Not reaching her potential
I also read a couple of the brochures Dr. W had given me.
K did great and we even smiling when she came out an hour and a half later. Dr. W told K she was really smart and she needed to promise him that she would go to college.
I was happy to have the testing done and to have someone acknowledge what a happy, polite, and smart girl K was.
We set up an appointment for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to go over the results.
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